The Irish Man’s Guide to Valentine’s Day. You’re Welcome Lads!

Valentine’s Day. Brace yourself lads. It’s second only to your anniversary in the list of things you can totally fuck up this year. So we’re here to help. This week we launched our big Valentine’s survey and we asked the women of Ireland what they want. A drum roll please, the results are in.

Question 1: Valentine’s Day, Discuss

Most popular answer: “Ah would you relax, it’s only a bit of fun!”

Irish fellas, you’re a lucky bunch. 68% of women say it’s only a bit of fun, like! In fact no one seems to be taking it too seriously at all, with another 20% proclaiming Valentine’s Day to be “a crock of shite” and several more seeing it as an opportunity to pop into Ann Summers. Giggidy giggidy.

Conclusion: Irish women are a great bunch altogether.


Question 2: How will you spend this Valentine’s Day?

Most popular answer: “All coupled up”

62% of respondents will be all coupled up this Valentine’s Day. 25% are single and 13% are single and ready to mingle, which they indicated by ticking the box “looking for a ride”.

Conclusion: Women with partners are more willing to fill out Valentine’s surveys

Question 3: What is the perfect present?

Most popular answer: A trip away

Ouch. Get the wallet out lads, 48% of respondents want a trip away this weekend. The next most popular answer was perfume, followed by flowers but make sure not to overshoot now, just under 10% of respondents will be happy enough with a card.

Conclusion: It’s gonna cost ya

Question 4: Sending flowers to work, yay or nay?

Most popular answer: Nope

Forget the Greek bailout, this is one contentious issue. 48% of respondents would love to get flowers at work and show that bitch on reception that someone loves them, but they were pipped to the post by 52% who said “oh my god no, morto!”.

Conclusion: You can’t win lads.

Question 5: Should you go out on Valentine’s Day?

Most popular answer: The jury’s out again

Another another highly contentious issue but most people want to stay in; 25% of women think it’ll be overpriced and over busy and another 25% would just prefer a meal at home. However, another 25% wouldn’t mind going out if it means they don’t have to cook. There’s good news for 13% of the men whose other halves don’t care what happens as long as they get to see the Ireland v France match. But spare a thought for the last 12%, who will be heading to Fifty Shades.

Conclusion: Date women who like rugby

Question 6: Where to eat if you do go out?

Most popular answer: Somewhere casual like 777

When it comes to eating out feelings are mixed about where to go. The most popular answer is something casual like Mexican restaurant 777, with 45% of the votes. In second place are those who want to do it properly and go to Chapter One. 20% of voters want to go somewhere romantic like Chez Max and the rest are up for burgers or beers.

Conclusion: Tread carefully, you could get this all wrong!

Question 7: What will you be getting your partner this Valentine’s Day?

Most popular answer: “None of your business you dirty yoke”

We finish on a high note, with over 50% of respondents unwilling to disclose what they have in store for their other halves on Saturday. Ooh err! 25% of the lads will be getting a present and hard luck to the rest because 25% of respondents think this one is just for the ladies, sorry lads.

Conclusion: You will most likely get lucky.

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